The Breath class, taught by Yoga teacher, Swami Paramananda, was engaging and healing. And he was such a delightful teacher that I immediately signed on for another class he offered: “Sadhana Challenge.” This class encouraged students to be regular with our spiritual practices. I felt really at home with what I was learning, but didn’t know why. I had taken one class in Hinduism during seminary, but I seemed more connected to this ashram and their teachings in deeper ways than one seminary class could explain. Soon I realized that much of what I was learning was familiar because it resonated with many of the concepts I had learned during my years of exploring “new age” spirituality. Through the ashram, I was discovering that those concepts weren’t “new age.” They were very old age! Hinduism is one of the oldest living religious tradition.
Next, I joined another class on mantra meditation, offered by Rukmini Chaitanya. During our first class, the students were invited to choose a mantra which we repeated mentally during meditation to help calm our very busy minds…using the mala beads as shown in the picture of Rukmini’s hand at the Paradise Island, Bahamas beach. We were offered twelve mantras to choose from. Ten of them - the names of Hindu Gods and Goddesses - were said to have “form.” Two other mantras were considered “formless”: Om and So Ham. I chose one that was familiar to me: Om Namah Shiva. It’s a greeting honoring Shiva, the god of destruction (of ego, ignorance, illusion) and inner transformation, from the Hindu Trinity. This mantra was familiar because it was introduced to me as a chant forty years earlier at the “Opening the Heart” workshop. It was a chant I had listened to on a CD by Robbie Gass and On Wings of Song every morning for those previous forty years. It spoke to me for all this time, even though I had no idea what it meant.
Another coming home moment that happened was brought to me by YouTube. Because I had once searched for something having to do with Sivananda Ashram (a yoga asana/exercise class), YouTube started bringing to my attention other videos that were related to the ashram. One such video was a concert by world famous Kirtan singer, Krishna Das, that happened at the ashram in March of 2020 – just days before the Covid-19 shut down. I watched the concert and noticed that a lot of the songs he was singing sounded familiar to me when suddenly I realized, “I think I have his CD.” I did. In 2005 I attend a program at the Kripalu Yoga Retreat Center in Western Massachusetts. One evening there was a concert – by Krishna Das (I’d never heard of him) – where I was introduced to kirtan spiritual chanting. The experience was both transporting and transforming. I bought his CD. It spent most of its time between 2005 and 2021 in a drawer. But no more. YouTube brought me more and more music by Krishna Das, and this inspiring spiritual music has filled my home and my soul ever since.
I took many classes with Rukmini Chaitanya and other teachers as well. One day Rukmini was talking about Vishnudevananda, the swami who founded the ashram in the Bahamas in 1969. He was a disciple of Swami Sivananda, the founder of this particular Hindu lineage. Rukmini mentioned that Swami Visnudevananda was a gifted practitioner and teacher of Hatha Yoga – the exercises that most of us think of and refer to as “yoga.” She held up the book he had written in 1959, The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga. I was speechless. It was the Full Circle Moment: I had that book! I bought it in 1973 during my first yoga class at the Dubuque YMCA. That class, that teacher, that book, that lineage was my starting point – in Dubuque. And by a very circuitous route, that took quite a long time – almost 50 years – here I was once again, back into the care and guidance of teachers sharing the message of Swami Visnudevananda – the message that had inspired me to begin my spiritual seeking.
My mom was the reason I returned to live in Dubuque in 2008. She died in 2011 and for many years I wondered why I was still here. Over and over I pondered that question. One day I invited my spiritual director, Eunice Schatz, to join me in my pondering. She said this: “Your mom is the obvious reason that brought you to Dubuque. But, often the Spirit has other reasons for such a major life change, and those – still to be revealed – might be the reason you are staying.” So, Mom, Jim, and Zoom all had a piece of the puzzle that brought my spiritual home into focus for me. What a relief and a joy to have finally found where I belong. And what a blessing to have Eunice’s prophetic wisdom be true.
Glory Be.
Om Shanti.